Is dementia all bad?

With degrading memory, confusion, the inability to live the way we are used to, with progressive loss of capabilities, dementia can't have any positive sides.  Can it?

Sometimes, as the greatest thief, it can show a slightly softer side.

There can be humour.  Not laughing at someone who is suffering but laughing with someone who finds a funny side to something that is normally missed.  Never forget that no matter how bad their condition is, a sense of humour is probably lurking in there somewhere.  And given the right prompting, it can come to the surface.  A smile can, literally, be worth a million dollars.

Dementia can also, at times, bring about changes in personality.  People can get anxious, or irritated or irrational.  All the worst things you might imagine.  But sometimes - sometimes - they can become quieter, more introspective, more thoughtful.  Sometimes the abrasiveness of personality can be smoothed a little.  Old debts, old quarrels can be forgotten, old biases lost.  Sometimes, people can become more easy going.   While this is not the norm, it can happen.

And because insight can suffer, because understanding of the 'correct' or 'appropriate' connection with the outside world can be affected, those with dementia can sometimes be protected from situations or conditions that would otherwise cause them to suffer greatly.  The death of a loved one, for example, may be far better tolerated.  Of course, it can be much worse too, but in some cases, the dementia can cushion the effect.  The person has not forgotten that their husband has died, but the emotional pain is less.  Or they might have a condition such as incontinence or a colostomy bag, which could cause them to be more isolated or anxious or embarrassed but.  Sometimes, due to the dementia, they are almost immune to the embarrassment.

Dementia is loss - loss of the person that we knew.  It can be devastating, it can be frustrating and it can be heart-breaking.   But sometimes, it can come with a positive side.  And if that positive side is much smaller than the negative, well that's probably not unexpected. 

But we must always strive to find any positive.  No matter how small.